Finding ways to "balance" home and work is a major challenge for workers, especially if they are parents. It is a challenge, as well, for the organizations in which they work. The concept of "balance" implies equal or fair proportioning of time and energy, so that both the work gets done and responsibilities at home are met. When things are out of balance, someone gets short-changed, and in the long run both work and home suffer.

According to this model, to achieve balance one must compartmentalize one’s life. As a parent you are told to leave your work problems at work. As an employee you are told to take care of your family problems on your own time. Of course, every employed parent knows that life is not so simple.

A recent study of issues related to work and family Ask the Children: What America’s Children Really Think About Working Parents, offers a different conceptual model for managing competing demands for one’s time and energy. People move through a cycle, from work to home to work and so forth. As one moves through the cycle there is "spill-over." At home you may have office work to finish, you may receive a work-related phone call, or you may be preoccupied with a problem with a co-worker. At work you may receive a call from one of your children, you may be concerned about childcare, or you may have to leave work to attend a school function. The key is not to try to block the spill-over between work and home, but rather to manage it.

This is a "navigation" model, implying not a state of balance, but a process of adjusting to shifting circumstances. It recognizes that spill-over occurs, and that spill-over in itself is neither good nor bad. Indeed, a softening of the boundary between home and work can improve one’s rate of success in both arenas. Success depends on how well one navigates the work-home cycle.

This model is useful for leaders in addressing what Qm2 calls the "Third Agenda." The first agenda deals with what an organization does: the creation and delivery of products and services. The second agenda addresses how the work gets done: the organizational structure, systems and culture. The third agenda treats who does the work. Failure to attend to this third agenda can easily undermine improvements made in the other two.

Here is a quick guide to help you and your employees navigate the work-home cycle. Navigating the cycle is an ongoing process of self-improvement. You and your employees can use the guide to measure yourselves over time.

Work-Home Cycle Navigation Guide

This guide is designed to help you identify ways to manage more successfully your responsibilities at home and at work. For each section, rate yourself. Also, where appropriate, ask your co-workers and family to rate you. Use this guide to target areas for improvement, and use it regularly to measure your progress.

I. Frequency

Rate yourself, and ask others to rate you, on how often you attend to home responsibilities at work.

You rate yourself:

1. Very Often
2. Somewhat Often
3. Sometimes
4. Rarely
5. Never

Others rate you:

1. Very Often
2. Somewhat Often
3. Sometimes
4. Rarely
5. Never

To navigate successfully, avoid the extreme scores and aim for a "3".

II. Duration

The amount of time you spend at home on matters pertaining to work, and vice versa, should be framed according to the requirements of the particular situation. There is no universal rule. Rather, you should define time limits, and then hold to them, as cases arise. For example, if you receive an important work-related phone call in the evening at home, acknowledge to the caller that it is important, and state that if you cannot resolve the issue in ten minutes you will meet about it tomorrow. Then pause to explain to your family that the call will take only ten minutes. Then stick to it. The same approach can be taken when one of your children calls you at work.

Rate yourself, and have your colleagues and family verify your rating, on how often you set and stick to time limits when work spills over at home, or vice versa.

You rate yourself:

1. Very Often
2. Somewhat Often
3. Sometimes
4. Rarely
5. Never

Others rate you:

1. Very Often
2. Somewhat Often
3. Sometimes
4. Rarely
5. Never

III. Communication

It is essential that you inform your colleagues (when at work) and family (when at home) about what you are doing, why you are doing it, and what time limits you have set. This will eliminate suspicions, reduce anxiety, and enable them to support you, either by lending a hand or keeping out of the way. Rate yourself on how often you keep others informed about your decisions regarding managing the spill-over between work and home.

You rate yourself:

1. Very Often
2. Somewhat Often
3. Sometimes
4. Rarely
5. Never

Others rate you:

1. Very Often
2. Somewhat Often
3. Sometimes
4. Rarely
5. Never

IV. Focus

Successful navigation requires that you focus on the task at hand. When doing "work-work" at home, concentrate on it, and when the time is up, let it go. Then focus on your family. According to Ask the Children, "when children feel that their mothers and fathers can focus on them, they are much more likely to feel that their parents manage their work and family responsibilities successfully and put their families before their work." Rate yourself, and have your family rate you, on how successful you are at focusing when you are with your family.

You rate yourself:

1. Very Focused
2. Somewhat Focused
3. Somewhat Distracted
4. Very Distracted

Your family rates you:

1. Very Focused
2. Somewhat Focused
3. Somewhat Distracted
4. Very Distracted

V. Hanging Out

It is equally important to have time with your family that is not focused. Find time to hang out together, watch television, play a game, relax -- without an agenda. According to the study, more than two in five children feel that their time with their mother is rushed. Rate yourself, and ask your family to rate you, on how successful you are at relaxing with your family.

You rate yourself:

1. Very Rushed
2. Somewhat Rushed
3. Somewhat Calm
4. Very Calm

Your family rates you:

1. Very Rushed
2. Somewhat Rushed
3. Somewhat Calm
4. Very Calm

VI. Teaching

When a parent has a good or "okay" day at work, he (or she) is better able to focus on the family. At home he talks about family things, not about his work. However, when he has a bad day, he comes home frustrated and distracted, and the children know it. Thus, many children pick up a negative view of work. In the study 60% of fathers, and 69% of mothers say they like their work "a lot." But only slightly more than 40% of the children think their parents really like their work. Too often children do not hear about the positive sides of work. Is your family getting an inaccurate reading of your feelings about work. Rate yourself, and ask your family to rate you, on how much you like your work.

You rate yourself:

1. A lot
2. Somewhat
3. Very little
4. Not at all

Your family rates you:

1. A lot
2. Somewhat
3. Very little
4. Not at all

Now talk with your family and colleagues about their perceptions of you, and how they differ from your own perceptions. Use this form over time to improve your management of the work-home spillover.

For more information on this topic, read Ask the Children: What America’s Children Really Think About Working Parents