When terror strikes powerful feelings blossom. One client said he vacillates between wanting his 'pound of flesh' and keeping a level head. If I am honest—I too have had waves of retribution wash over me during the last few days. But giving up level headedness seems to make me like the terrorists.

I have felt a deep sadness and grief as never before—a mourning for the thousands lost, the tens of thousands wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters, and the sons and daughters of those killed—to say nothing of cousins, nieces, nephews, friends.

I also have a wound in my spirit—that man can do such things to mankind is a horrible wound. There were only 20 or so actual terrorists plus let's say another 200 or 500 direct supporters, and it is clear that in NYC alone their are millions who are responding with courage and with love. As Desmond Tutu has said 'We humans are made for love, for family, for community—A community where all—yes all are included-no matter what. In the world there are hundreds of millions of people responding with love, not hate. On balance love so out numbers the hate—thank God. I will not choose hate; I stand for love.

I also am fearful—if I'm honest—It is not easy to say what I am fearful of. I can not control my emotions of revenge, grief and fear. But I can control how I behave. I will not act fearfully.

The best and brightest minds and billions and billions of dollars for missile defense and yet a handful of people with relatively limited resources—a few knives— completely subverted our missile defenses and killed maybe 5,000 Americans, while at Pearl Harbor we lost around 2,000. We are not in control of events! We can't always protect ourselves.

I will remember to breathe deeply, to relax, and remember who I am and who I wish to become; AND then to focus on the present moment, doing what needs to be done. The five minute rule works well. See how much work I can do in 5 minutes, then go back to the TV, Radio, e mails, newspaper, and your feelings and conversations about the tragedy. Then another 5 minutes of normalcy and so on.

In the coming days and weeks, this event and its spreading waves of fear and anxiety will wash over us time and again. And being 'can do' Americans we will ask, "What should I do now in response?" At the moment giving into fear, showing hate, changing our normal lives, seems only to give the terrorists more victories. They can only succeed in demeaning our lives with our cooperation. Let's not give them power over our psyches; let's not serve their goals.

Let's pray for those who need it.

Let's accept our emotions without letting them disable our clarity.

Let's keep our hearts open, even to the recurrent images and feelings of terror.

And let's resolve to do what we can, in our own humble ways, to help create a world of understanding, compassion, courage, and love—beginning with ourselves.